Love on the River: Navigating Romance and Rapids

by Ian Fodor-Davis | Feb 14, 2018 | Guide Profiles

Experience the thrill of love on the river—a journey where every rapid and quiet moment reveals the beauty and challenges of human relationships on the water. Whether it’s a celebration of shared victories or the tough lessons learned from miscommunications in whitewater, the river tests and strengthens the bonds between paddling partners.

The Unpredictable Nature of River Love

What do premature wrinkles, rancid polypro, sandy kisses, and rock-solid communication have in common? Human relationships are hard, but for the paddling partner who’s also my special human, it must be extra tough. On the river, every moment—from gear mishaps to unexpected rapid runs—forces us to confront our vulnerabilities and celebrate our strengths.

Everyday Challenges on the Water

Mood Swings and Gear Woes

When I get scared, hungry, or face last-minute plan changes, I get grumpy. (“You’re telling me you didn’t bring any snacks?”) I also dislike waking up to wet layers from the day before, and when I get cold, my partner is the first one to hear about it (“Can I please borrow your pogies?”). Although I may feign toughness like the best of river guides, the presence of my special human leaves me decidedly less stout.

Communication and Mistakes

Navigating whitewater demands clear communication.

• Lefts, Rights, and Forgotten Essentials: Sometimes my special human-slash-paddling partner gets his lefts and rights confused—a significant communication deficit when running whitewater together. There was that one time he left his sopping wet dry suit in the rooftop box on his car for a month. I told him off, though I’ve admittedly committed similar offenses.
• Accidents on the Go: I recall an incident when the roof rack fell off my car on an interstate at night, hurtling at 70 miles per hour, with his brand new playboat attached. Both our vehicles suffered damage, and I was visibly shaken. Yet, he waited until the next day to inspect the extent of his boat’s injuries.

Confronting Fear and Celebrating Victories

Facing Down the Rapids

On my first challenging run, I slid backward through a blind slot between giant boulders with no idea of what lay at the base. Terrified, I yelled his name as my boat tumbled over the lip, only to land unscathed in the pool beneath. He was there waiting, his eyes as wide as plates—even if I hated the way his name sounded when I yelled it.

Pushing Boundaries Together

At a springtime whitewater festival near our home, I asked him to show me down a section of whitewater that was a step up from my comfort zone. Initially, he thought it wasn’t a good idea, leaving me furious. The next day, after his full day of competition, he secretly ran that section multiple times seeking out the smoothest, most straightforward lines—and then he showed me the run. My heart swelled as I barely got my face wet.

Mutual Support in Competition

At the same festival, before his own race, he stayed to cheer me on in a slalom race for those who aren’t quite ready to run the hardest whitewater. I took third place and was uncommonly proud, knowing that celebrating victories together makes the bond even stronger.

The Transformative Power of Shared River Experiences

There are few experiences as transformative as running (or not running) whitewater with your loved one.

• Testing Our Limits: Navigating swirling emotions and physical challenges puts our trust, insecurities, and expectations under a powerful maelstrom.
• The Connection Beyond Rapids: Whether cuddling in a tent when we’re cold and wet, reminding each other to re-up the sunscreen, or simply sharing quesadillas after a long day on the river, the comfort of my special human’s hand on my shoulder is irreplaceable.
• A Love that Evolves: Over the years, many inspiring, intoxicating river people have flowed through my life. The love we share on the river isn’t static—it changes, morphs, and meanders like the river itself. Some of us marry and raise families, while others remain forever married to the river, to memories, or to a fluid and dynamic future free of attachment.

Just as the river cannot be tamed or controlled, I wouldn’t dare try to subdue the singular spirit of river-borne love. For all its challenges, I simply wouldn’t have it any other way.

Related Posts:

• When Love Meets the Rapids: Guiding as a River Couple
• My First Year Rafting Guide Experience: Lessons from the River

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My First Year Rafting Guide Experience

by Ian Fodor-Davis | Jan 4, 2017 | Guide Profiles

From the adrenaline rush of navigating surging rapids to the quiet moments of reflection on nature’s beauty, my first year as a whitewater rafting guide was an unforgettable journey. This is my rafting guide experience—a story of courage, camaraderie, and respect for the raw power of the river.

The Thrill of the Rapids

I position the bright blue raft a little too far left in the river but have run out of time for a correction. Excitement and fear rising in my chest, I grip the oars and hope we will hit the surging wave at the right angle. All I can do sometimes is hope.

“ALL FORWARD! PADDLE FORWARD!”

My voice is a high-pitched screech. I’m just as nervous as the folks seated in front of me. We crash over the rapid just inches away from a rock, bumping then sliding through. Frigid water careens over us. The right side of the raft dips a little too low pitching everyone to the side. Screams and laughter bounce off the rock face along the shore as my oar is jerked from the oarlock. I’ve got to keep the raft from hitting the next rock, but I have lost control. I grab for the oar, no one in the front of the raft notices my frantic scramble. My arm is wrenched forward as the current catches the blade of the oar, raft starts to spin. Oar snaps into place, headcount, deep breath, back on track.

Embracing the River’s Energy

A little rattled, I let the water’s energy calm my racing heart. Breathe in. Breathe out. I watch the river’s ripples float past, never making the exact same shape, a constant dance of newness. In the front of the raft, the clients laugh and make dinner plans. I ignore them for a minute. Turning my head left, I see layers of mountains backed up by a blue and white sky. For a second I am lost in them. A bald Eagle floats overhead. I make a quick prayer to the river, giving her my gratitude and asking for her protection, then snap back to reality, it’s time to have some fun.

A Community on the Water

Afternoon sunlight glints off the river’s surface, a myriad of sparkles spreading outward. We take turns telling jokes, travel stories, and talking about our favorite sports. Our raft floats past fishermen, kayakers, other rafters, and beachgoers in brightly colored swimsuits. We hoot, shout, and holler back and forth. River people are their own breed. A whole community whose dominant intention is joy, excitement, and appreciation. On the river, there is a silent agreement, we will always help someone in need. The stakes are too high to be individualistic. This quiet agreement creates a wonderfully eccentric harmony.

I wasn’t exactly sure what whitewater raft guiding entailed when I decided to take the job. I knew I could do it, whatever it was. I’ve never been afraid of the outdoors. The Zoo Town Surfers headquarters is located on the Alberton Gorge about thirty miles west of Missoula, Montana. There were several of us training to become guides, mostly men. Our first trip down the Gorge, an eleven-mile stretch of the Clark Fork River with class II and III rapids, was terrifying, exciting, and super cold. It was late May. Even dressed in wetsuits and dry suits we were shivering. The summer spiraled out from that cold start into an exhilarating, exhausting, and magical set of memories and lessons learned.

Lessons Learned on My Rafting Guide Journey

I learned that the river’s force can be lethal. There is no space for anything other than the task at hand. Letting go of control is inevitable as the river’s power propels the raft forward. There can be no fighting against, instead the flow must be ridden with trust, courage, and ease. It is a deeply respectful partnership, river and guide, but both know, the river holds the power. Power of water surging onward, falling, cascading. The sound, the energy, the flow, tumbling toward its destiny. We’re all tumbling toward our destinies. Truths, moments, and lessons constantly reveal themselves. The ripple, the current, can’t slow it down, must move at its pace or it will drown you. The river arranges her shores into rock faces, exposed pastel colors displayed on towering surfaces. Teaches us vulnerability is beautiful. Teaches us, that there’s nothing wrong with turning inside out and showing what we are made of.

Related Posts:

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